Monthly Archives: March 2012

Rooster Juice

Posted on by
2

I am definately NOT a “druggie.”  In fact I have a hard time to take an advil or something comparable even for a headache.  The “pushers” would have  a hard time making any profits from me.  Have you ever had a pill get stuck in your throat?  I have – and it sits there and sits there and it’s a horrible feeling.  And when you end up having to go to the ER to have it dislodged, it’s even worse.  So – take my word for it, it’s something you dont’ want to have happen.

I also have a great fear  of shots.  Anytime you think you’re going to poke a needle in my arm you better have a damn good reason or I’ll come out fighting.  Got that?!?

Well, today I had my second ROOSTER JUICE shot.  It’s one of the best things that has ever happened to me – along with the doctor that gives them to me, of course.  Let me explain.

To begin with – just so you know – the needle for this shot has to be as big around as a piece of spaghettie (not small) – and the syringe must hold at least a half a gallon of liquid!  Just sayin’ is all  ! ! ! !

Way back in the dark ages (shut up Burl) when I was of the ripe old age of about 35 I went riding in a hot air balloon – on Easter Sunday.  It was one of those springs that was absolutely beautiful for Minnesota.  Warm and sunny and perfect.  Kind of like we’re having this year – which doesn’t happen but once every 20+ years.  I really didn’t want to go up for the ride, I would rather have been in the  chase car, but somewhere along the line I got talked into riding in the balloon and have regretted it ever since.

The owner/operator of the hot air balloon was not a nice man – at least that’s my opinion of him.  Once my friend and I were up in the air with him he decided he was going to scare us royaly, which he did to the last inth degree of possibility.  He flew it through the tree tops to the point of making my friend and me defend ourselves against the tree branches that would have poked us in the eyes had we not held them away from our faces.  He flew us toward the high voltage power lines until just before we could touch them and then shot enough hot air into the balloon to prevent us from catching them.  I could go on, but you get the idea.

Eventually when it was time to put the balloon down he decided to land in an open field, but bounced across the stubble, caught the side of a township road, bounced the basket very high at which point I was thrown into a padded propane tank hard enough that it broke my kneecap into three pieces.

I knew instantly that I was hurt.  Hubby Ole and Lovely Daughter were in the chase truck, and they tossed me into the back of the truck and took me the 15 miles into town to the ER where an orthopedic surgeon performed emergency surgery on Easter Sunday to wire me back together. Mind you, this was back in the dark ages.  I had my leg in a plaster cast from my ankle to my hip for 6 weeks.  At the end of 6 weeks the ortho doc cut the cast off and sent me home – NO physical therapy of any kind.  Needless to say, about 2 years later I started having major problems.

Through the years I have subjected myself to every physical therapy program available within the city limits to no avail.  Needless to say this has cost thousands of dollars, and all for nothing.   UNTIL about 2 years ago I discovered the most wonderful ortho doctor that pointed me in the direction of ROOSTER JUICE!!

Now, if you haven’t heard of ROOSTER JUICE, you’re really missing out on something.  It’s made from the combs of roosters and is injected as a lubricant into joints of the human body that are not behaving well.  I became aware of it about 10 years ago, but at that time decided not to go that route because it was so new.  Now I could write a bible about it.

The technical name is actually SYNVISC, and if you have a need and haven’t at least given it a shot (pun intended) you’re really missing out.  It’s made such a world of difference in my life it’s unexplanable.

I had so much pain back in November of 2010 that I could hardly walk.  After having x-rays in my knee it was discovered that it was bone on bone and the doc that examined me said he was amazed that I could even walk.  He told me that it was not a question of IF I would have a knee replacement, it was WHEN I would have one.

When he suggested it, it was just not a convenient time.  By that time I was so used to living with pain that it really didn’t matter any more.  So to bide my time until a knee replacement was convenient for my time schedule I opted for a ROOSTER JUICE shot.

The syringe was huge.  Just to look at it almost scared me to the point of not having it at all – but I did.  I made Ole go along with me for moral support.  That Ole – he’s good for all kinds of things.

So my first one was back in November of 2010.  Mind you – these shots are only supposed to be good for 6 months.  Everything went wonderfully until the time we started to move back in November of 2011.  That’s when I started carrying heavy boxes loaded with “stuff” that needed to find a new home.  And that’ when my knee started driving me crazy again.

So I toughed it out until about 2 weeks ago when I just couldn’t stand it anymore.  When I finally realized what a dumb stubborn Norwegian I was being, I called and made an appointment with the wonderful ortho doc that I have.

Today I had my second SYNVISC shot and my knee is feeling wonderful.  I realize that I’m one of the lucky ones as this doesn’t work as well for everyone.  But I thank my lucky stars that I am one of those lucky ones and appreciate every waking/walking moment without pain.

Love, Lena

 

You Could Grow Potatoes in your Ears!!

Posted on by
2

I so very distinctly remember when I was little (back in the dark ages) (quiet, Burl), after taking a bath my mother would give us kids an inspection to see if we were successful in removing all the dirt.  She would check the hands, both sides, you know, fingernails, feet, the back of your neck and would work her way finally to your ears.  I can still hear her say, “Oh, my goodness, you could grow potatoes in those ears – go wash them again!”  And so we would – but do you remember how difficult it was to fit a finger wrapped in a washcloth into your ear?  It didn’t always work – and we didn’t have Q-tips back in those days – at least not at our house.

This brings me to the fact that I have been ill – yes, sick.  I’ve got a very bad case of spring fever.  Which would explain why I was stupid enough to go outside and work in the hurricane force winds that we’ve had here for the last two days.  Our temperatures have been in the 70s, which is unheard of in Minnesota in March.  That explains the spring fever, right?

Yesterday I decided that I was going to clean up all the dog logs that have been deposited in our front yard over the winter.  So Ole gassed up the trusty green machine (that’s John Deere for you non-farming folks).  I carefully placed the bags in their proper places, hopped on, lowered the blades, engaged the mower and immediately proceeded to get a face full of dust and grass clippings.  There were a few leaks in the system that would have been fine if we hadn’t had 90 mph breezes blowing about.  Well, back to Ole I went with my complaints and he immediately fixed the problem with – you guessed it – duct tape – the wonder tool of the 21st century.

Well, that worked for awhile until I got into a really bumpy section of lawn.  I started hitting all these little mounds, kind of like trying to ride the lawnmower on a washboard.  That’s when I discovered that I have an extremely large infestation of (playing the theme song from Jaws here)  NIGHTCRAWLERS!  All the bumps caused the chute that goes from the mower deck to the bags to come undone and this time I got a full load of dust and grass clippings in my face.  Off the mower, reassemble the chute, back on the mower, make a round or two, hit more bumps and another face full of dust and grass clippings.

Now any normal person would quit – but I’m stubborn enough (or stupid enough) to continue on until the job was done.  Three hours of dirt and grass clippings blowing about was quite a challenge.  I finished up about 5 o’clock, drove over to park the mower and who should come walking by but Ole of course.  He took one look at me and burst out laughing.  My face was covered with gray dust, my “beautiful platinum (gray) hair” was even grayer and I was having difficulty hearing because of all the dirt in my ears.  A shower soon fixed that situation and I was done for the night. Even after a shower my eyes were still so full of dust I felt like I had a gravel pit in each of them.  I woke up several times during the night and used eye drops to help clean them out, but still had big goobers in the corners when I woke up this morning.

Now you would think I would have learned my lesson, wouldn’t you.  But no – not me.  Because of all the nighcrawlers (don’t forget to hum the Jaws theme here) I decided I was going to use the dethatcher attachment and see if that would knock down some of the lumps and bumps at least temporarily.  It seemed to help, but then I had to pick up all the thatch that I had managed to loosen.  So once again – every time I would go “with” the wind I would get a face full of clippings and dust.  But today I was smarter – I got a pair of goggles from Ole that would help to keep my eyes a bit more dust free.  To heck with the ears, I may not be able to hear you, but at least I would be able to see where I was driving.

Now these goggles must have been around for a few years.  They were encased in a thick layer of their own dust from laying for a lengthy time out in Ole’s shop.  So I took them in the house, washed them tenderly with soap and water and then dried them with a towel.  Ta-Dah – I could actually see through them.  Now someone with a very fat head must have been wearing these poor goggles as the elastic was so stretched out that it would have taken TWO of my heads to hold them in place.  Now – what to do.  I just couldn’t go through having granular eyes again.  So I cut the elastic and thought I would tie it in a bow behind my head.  Now trying to tie elastic at the back of your head has a tendency to get tangled with hair that will also end up in the bow.  You men wouldn’t know about that because most of you wear your hair short enough that there isn’t anything to get tangled.  The tying wasn’t so bad, but it was the UNtying that really hurt.  I think I have several chunks of platinum (gray) hair that are still attached to the elastic.

Anyway – I got over my case of spring feverl.  It took two days to do it, but I’m all better now, thank you.

Love, Lena

Red and Green?? and it’s not even Christmas???

Posted on by
1

 

The whorehouse red wall is GONE!  Actually it disappeared a couple of weeks ago, but I just haven’t had time to talk about it.  Imagine that – me not having time to talk.  Ole would sure have a comment or two on that (snicker).

What’s with the Christmas colors you may say, as you wrinkle your nose.  Weeelllll – take a look at the carpet – - -

I love it – it’s so victorian looking.  And only one wall is green – the others are painted the taupe to match the darker leaves that surround the cabbage roses.

Enough of this decorating stuff – just thought I should tell you that my bedroom no longer looks like a brothel.  It’s a bit on the tamer side these days (snicker).

I think spring just may finally be on its way in the hinterlands of Da’ Far North.  Granted we had a beautiful winter – no sub zero temps like we normally expect, not even one blizzard – we really didn’t have any snow on the ground to speak of until the end of February.  Then Mother Nature, that sneaky old broad, dropped a heavy layer on us along with some sub zero temps – just when I’m paging through all those seed catalogs that have arrived.  But today I see signs of the gravel on our driveway showing through and it’s a beautiful sunny day.  That’s one thing I love about this house – it’s so open and there’s lots of windows to the south and to the west.  The animals love it too, and find the warmest, sunniest spots to take their naps.

This is Lucy basking in the sun.  Unfortunately you can’t see her pretty little face due to the way the sun was shining.

And here’s Daisy, who really relishes the heated floor along with the sunshine.  I’m sure it feels good on her old bones.

Ole was also sawing logs on the davenport, softly snoring, raising the roof up and down as he breathed in and out.  I didn’t take a picture to post – I didn’t want to embarrass him (chuckle).

Speaking of houses (we were, weren’t we?).  We drove out to our old house the beginning of the week.  IT’S GONE!  The guy that bought it sure didn’t mess around.  He definitely meant business about getting it moved and set up before it was time to go in the field and plant seeds (he’s a farmer).  All there is left is an empty concrete hole.  And no – that didn’t bother me because I knew it was going to happen and was happy that someone bought it and it didn’t have to be pushed into the basement and burned.  That’s what’s happening to the flood buyout houses that don’t sell.  Sad, isn’t it.

What shocked me and bothered me was all the trees that had to be taken down in order to get the house moved.  Now common sense told me that would happen – but the reality check was when you actually saw it.  The 5 acres we lived on was a plowed field when we bought it.  Every tree there was planted, watered and cared for to grow tall and strong during the 40 years we lived there.  What really broke my heart was the tallest spruce tree on the property had to be cut down.  There were three very large evergreens planted at one corner of our house right outside our bedroom windows.  The tallest one must have been 60 feet tall and it was gone – chopped into pieces and tossed in the backyard down on the river bank.  Every spring there was a pair of mourning doves that built their nest in the shelter of the branches of that tree and raised their babies.  Every morning when I had my windows open I could hear the cooing of the doves and I knew that all was right with the world.  I wonder where they’ll build their nest thing spring :-(   . . . .

Love Lena